Dear Cia Column

Dear cia:
Have you ever tried making a gluten-free cake?
-Mimi (:

Dear Mimi,

YAY!  What a question! I could almost swear I heard it before on Steam, lol. XD

Before I begin, I should clarify one thing about this "gluten-free" stuff. Although I use it a lot as of late (and more so after hearing that one of our players genuinely has a wheat allergy, I mainly only use it because it's a "mainstream" word and something people easily can recognize.  In actuality, the term is dangerously-simplistic as it conveys the impression that the gluten protein complex is the ONLY thing dangerous about wheat, when in fact it's only moderately dangerous compared to some of its other toxins.  I'm sure this is done on purpose, as "wheat-free" would cause more of a consumer panic with many inconvenient questions asked about this prolific grain -- but wheat-free is really what I'm aiming at personally.  I half expect that the reason GMO wheat isn't out in the market yet is because scientists are working hard to createa a gluten-free wheat strain that, somehow, still lets you make stretchy bread and pizzas without falling apart -- the day they do, they can finally claim that the "evil gluten" is good and everyone can go back to eating the stuff.  Ignored will be the many other phytotoxins, lectins and opiates that can still cause us harm, plus whatever new problems (to us or our environment) that might be introduced by the GMO tampering of an already heavily-mutated grass.

So yes, I'll play along with the whole "gluten-free" catchphrase for now, but never forget that I actually mean "wheat-free".  

[I can make an exception with older strains of wheat like Einkorn and Spelt which are certainly "less harmful", but try twirling it into a  pizza crust, and you'll quickly realize (after your kitchen is a blobby mess) just how much the stuff has changed over the years.   ]

But in any case, back tot he question....

Well, I guess it depends largely on your definition of "cake".  For instance, my favourite cake is, and has always been, cheesecake; and lo and behold, cheesecake is one of the best desserts (along with muffins, cupcakes, cookies and donuts) to transition into a "gluten-free" world.  This is because the original recipes JUST call for cream cheese (it's only cheapskates, glutens and sweetaholics that mix it up with flour and gobs of sugar), and minus the assault of the cheesey goodness, the actual "bready" portion is small, thin and unseen.  I managed to make a wicked cheesecake this Thanksgiving by prebaking a very strong crust using a modified version of that almond bread recipe (mixed in with pecans and green banana flour for added heft), and then adding the cheese portion afterwards (half normal half chocolate, yum) -- the result was the best, crunchiest, and most indulgent cheesecake I've ever had! XD

So I'm happy in that regard, and I also tried making a pie using a similar method (although my impatience ruined the upper crust), and the almond bread recipe from earlier makes rich and delicious cookies and donuts (it helps that I was always a fan of soft treats, such as shortbread cookies), so really there is very little on the dessert end that I miss.

But have I made a cake, such as a Black Forest cake?  [my favourite standard cake]

No, but not for lack of ability.  I can already envision how to make it in my head... baking two equal cylinder portions of almond bread, blanched and with additional eggs and coconut oil for a lighter, fluffier texture, maybe a dash of sugar, honey or sorghum syrup just for kicks, a sprinkle of salt, some baking poweder, and of course lots of delicious dark chocolate!  These would be baked to produce two lovely fluffy dark cylinders -- one would then be put on a tray, smothered on top with a bed of delicious strawberry and cherry preserve, then sandwiched by the other half.  I would then smear on a whole lot of pure buttercream, light on sugar, heavy on the butter and cream, and decorated beautifully, and finally the entire creation would be topped with shaved chocolate and a hearty bed of pitted cheries.

THis would probably also be very expensive (unless I make a small cake), but yes this is doable and no doubt very delicious.

But I just don't feel like making it anymore.  I haven't craved a black forest cake in over 5 months, it's just not in my radar anymore. I'm free of want of cake or bread or any of that stuff... if I make almond bread now, it's for the convenience of making a proper sandwich or tuna melt.

TBH, I ather have that cheesecake instead.  


--Cia

Dear Cia

Is mayonnaise an instrument? .3.

-Tex

Dear Tex,..

*grabs a big tub of McCormick Mexican mayonnaise*



*opens cap*
*lifts it over Tex' head*
*turns it over and dunks it on his head with a nice gratifying 'squish" sound*

Oh, I guess it does. XD
Incidentally, there is nothing inherently wrong with mayonnaise itself, it CAN be a health food with the right ingredients.  Problem is that most commercial brands use nasty seed sludge oils (like soybean oil), xanthum gum, MSG, and other crap to make their products, so that's what ends up making mayonnaise very unhealthy.

So if you want good mayonnaise, either source from a reliable organic brand that doesn't sound like a chemistry kit when reading the label, or just make your own with proper ingredients.  It's fun and tasty...

http://nomnompaleo.com/post/3440774534/paleo-mayonnaise

http://butterbeliever.com/coconut-oil-mayonnaise-recipe/

http://www.seriouseats.com/2009/10/the-food-lab-meatonnaise-mayonnaises-mayos-bacon-lamb-duck-beef-fats-science.html

[note: I've never tried the meatonnaise before, but I might some day -- but the macadamia one is to die for. Olive oil can also work as a base, but be sure to pick Extra Lite over Extra Virgin, unless you don't mind a heavy olive taste.] ^^


--Cia

Dear Cia,

I'm begun a drawing period as well as a workout period..

Ive been drawing a bunch of things, but i've run out of ideas
>-<

Can I haz some inspiration? Pweeee?

Dear cia,
What are your favorite keyboard shortcuts? Also, what one do you think you use the most?

Dear Piggy,

Hmmm... well before I can answer that and toss out some ideas, you should probably tell me what kind of art you're trying to do?  Black and white?  Color?  Sepia?

Are you going for realism or Anime or cubism or impressionism?

Are you drawing people?  Landscapes? Objects?  Fractals? Ponies?

I mean if I gave out my idea, it would be something funky and experimental.  Like say...

1) Grab a slice of wheat or white bread, which you will not eat anymore.  
2) Right the letter "M" (for MamaLuigi) on it using something full of bacteria (like say cheese or yogurt or saliva).
3) Put it inside a ziploc black with some tiny holes poked in.
4) Leave it in a dry dark place (not refrigerated) and let it grow rich in mold
5) Check back on it after a month or so.
6) See if the "M" is made out clearly.  
7) Sketch, draw or paint that
8> Then for added kick, grab a sample of the bread, put it under a microscope, and explore the gorgeous microcosm therein.
9) and sketch, draw or paint what you see.  ^^

I'm so original. XD


--Cia

Dear A4,

I note a distinct lack of hamburger in this question even though you promised to ask me a hamburger question, so color me dissapointed.  No cheese for you for crushing my dreams tonight!   XD

As for this non-hamburger question....

As I use a Chromebook, my favorite keyboard shortcuts are the Search/Function key (which replaces the Caps Lock key which I dont miss, since the Search/Function key is so freakin useful), the ESC key (since it gets me out of many binds), the navigation and refresh keys (very essential if you use Crouton), and the volume keys.  

Chromebooks typically have some of the best keyboards around, so it's always a pleasure to use them.  

Anyway, you owe me a hamburger question now. XD


--Cia

Dear Cia

Can you name the following comic characters (just curious)









If you dont know them be free to make up names

-Tex

P.s. I read that cake response

Dear Tex,

Ugh!  Comic books!  My one true weakness!  XD
*me collapses and dies*

Anyway, yeah, this probably won't go very well. XD
I did see Guardians of the Galaxy with my brother a few months ago, so I recognize Groot at least.  
[if it IS Groot that is...]

But as for the other three...

#2 ugh.... Captain Dos Equis?  ^^;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-4zfsy6rsM

#3 uggggghhhh.... Serpentor?  ^^;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kz7h1KN_EFg

#4 oh... clearly that's Pinkie Pie in constume... XD



Oh and that's great!  Though I was hoping you'd also say whether you liked my cake answer, hated it, or found it interesting and educational.  


--Cia

Dear Cia

This may be a bit repetitive, but can you name THESE comic book characters (these were ones I were goin to put in the last question but kind of forgot about them)













this is the last question im goin to ask like this so dont worry

-Tex

Dear Cia

What are you getting me for Christmas? Bahahahahaha!

Dear Tex,

Again with the comic book characters.  XD
Well I can't come up with names for ALL of these given how tired I am, so I'll just use descriptions instead...

A) My childhood ruined. (Donald, WTF are you doing?!!) XD
B) Sure hope that's Kitty Pryde, probably the only Marvel heroine I know.  XD
C) What you would get if General Grievous cosplayed at a Comicon.  
D) A Blackwater... er, sorry,... "Academi" hired mercenary goon (or "defense contractor" in Newspeak)
E) What would happen if Harvey Dent really really REALLY loved his GI Joe. XO
F) Oh yeah, the guy from Guardians of the Galaxy in that crazy mask.  That was a fairly memorable movie.  >: D


--Cia

Dear Avocado,

I am giving you a movie link that you will finally agree to watch.  Merry Christmas! XD


--Cia

Dear Cia,
If suddenly you won ten million dollars from, err, Mojang, for having a server with the best community (or something like that) what would you do with the money?

Dear Slayer,

Wow, I haven't seen you in a million years. XD

Anyway, the first thing I would do is figure out whether that offer was a joke or a scam given Mojang by itself doesn't have a whole lot of money.  Granted they were purchased by Microsoft (boo!), in which case if it was Microsoft offering the money, the first thing out of my mouth (besides FU) would be whether it had any strings attached.  If somehow I had to proclaim my love for their hideous products and talk wonders about those idiotic Surface tablets, I think I'd ask them to stick their dirty money where the sun don't shine.

But if there's no strings attached, I suppose I could consider it just compensation for all the pain and suffering Microsoft has cast upon me.

Anyway, once I had this money (whatever is left after taxes), I'd probably pay off my mortgage and my brother's gargantuan student debt, and help some of my family in Mexico that need it.  I'd have at least one million dollars on the side for personal projects, including hiring Mion and Tarig as full time developers for our server, which itself would be upgraded to the best hardware available (and I'd have some kind of monetization scheme, such as shirts and toys). 


I wouldn't leave work right away since I wouldn't want to leave my team hanging, but I'd definitely begin training others in what I know so I can leave them in good standing by the time I was ready to leave.  


And as for the remainder of the money, I would most likely invest in various diverse money growing options (stocks, mutual funds, precious metals, an IRA, etc) to ensure I would never lose my newfound fortune. With future growth secured, then I'd see what other things I would do with so much money since the possibilities are endless.




--Cia

Dear Cia,
What's your favorite type of book? Mine's fantasy XP

Dear Cykrion,

A very general question, but I'm a big fan of non-fiction, either in literary form or as an audiobook.  It's a great opportunity to learn new things.  


--Cia

Dear Cia,
Have you ever had that frustrating moment when your computer crashes and everything you hold dear disappears?

(Goodbye AC4 progress... ;-; )

Also, didn't we have a Skype chatroom before? Or is it just my memory...

Dear Slayer,

Ha!  Back when I used to be a Windows user, that happened to me all the time.  Too many times for comfort, especially when it simply decided to stop working altogether and fail to boot up.  This was before the days that I learned of the existence of Linux LiveCD's, so once Windows failed to boot, the only thing left to do was to reinstall everything and cry for all the wonderful memories I would lose (this was also the days before I was told to backup regularly).  

Since ditching that horrible Windows and using things like Linux or MacOS, I couldn't be happier.  For one, they never crash, unless it's something accidental like me pulling the power cord while fixing my blinds.  And in the rare event something like a faulty hard drive would prevent the OS from booting, I could still repair or at least salvage my files using a LiveCD.  This happened at least twice with Crouton in ChromeOS, whereby a ChromeOS update breaks compatibility with an older version of Ubuntu... all it took was to update my Ubuntu OS, and voila! Problem solved and I'm back in business.  

Windows can go suck a toad for all I care... XD

As for Skype, I do remember you asked about it before back when you first came on the server, and you probably set something up personally with some of the older players here.  But it probably didn't involve me... aside from the fact I'd rather suck a toad rather than use MICROSOFT's stupid Skype program, I also don't like doing videochat with strangers.  I grew up in a different generation, whereas you internet age kids seem not to have a problem with that, ugh. >v>


--Cia

Dear cia,
what is the weirdest thing you have made/received in minecraft?

Dear A4,

Probably the weirdest (and worst) "gift" I ever received was a really seedy fanfic by a former player [and braggart and rabble-rouser] known as SpeederTGS.  It was an interpretation of me accidentally squashing one of them during a TP incident, but described in a very raunchy and digusting way. >>

He shifted blame for it presumably because he said CaptainDiggens (another idiot former player) forced him to write it, but then he sure had no problem writing more of these stupid fanfics as contraband.  >.>


--Cia

Dear Cia,

(Yikes.... damnit Speeder :p) What would you do if you had 6 months to live?

Dear Avocado,

Yikes!  Do you know something I don't?  >.>

Well I guess the answer to that would largely depend on "how" I had six months to live.  I wouldn't imagine a nutritional or chronic disease reason anymore unless my body is FUBAR after years and years of grain and sugar consumption (in which case yes it's a possibility >.< ), but even so I would try to determine a way to get it cured. Certainly wouldn't mind even if your standard western doctors would say the disease is "incurable", since they're also convinced Diabetes is incurable as well, and I know from firsthand experience it's more than curable (or "addressable" anyway... diabetes being a kind of "carb intolerance" never really goes away, but that's good as your body is simply telling you straight up that it doesn't like some things you're feeding it).

If in fact I was imprisoned or captured by a foreign government and put on death row or something, then things might get a little complicated since my options to do "anything" would be kinda limited.  

And if it was a matter of awaiting a meteor strike or an impending nuclear war, I'd have to seriously consider the possibility of either stocking up and digging in, or letting go and just await my fate, depending on how survivable the event would be.

In any scenario, I would have a few underlying things to do:

1) Be with my family as much as possible

2) Write my memoirs so at least the memory of me would live on somehow.

3) Tell CayCay to initiate Order 77, which is a secret directive on what to do should I somehow die or become incapacitated.  >v<

Actually the last one may be a little complicated since Shadow is no longer here and Cay herself is not the most tech-savvy person in the world (sorry Cay). XD
But so long as all existing staff work together to at least do the bare minimum to keep Big Sis alive (which is to copy the game world files, and host them on another server, at least before the server hosting expires anyway).  

So there you have it.  


--Cia

Dear Cia

Has a staff member ever been banned from big sis? If its a yes than why were they banned?

-Tex